to all the boys I've loved before: part 2

you said you had a photographic memory
but apparently
you forgot that honesty begins by being real with yourself
and the ones you claim you love
the truth cannot be hidden
what’s clouded in darkness will always come to light, my love
you should have known that
claiming you saw my light so clearly and brightly
i guess shit happens
i just wish it wasn’t me
and I guess it’s so much better to have loved and lost
then to never have loved at all
i know that’s some easy shit to say
but I’m still going to try and live by it
i’m still going to put my faith to rest in it
i will sleep on dry pillows now
in a bed big enough to love myself in
i will awake these coming mornings with my eyes dry
and shining full of the knowledge
i am priceless
and worth nothing but honesty
i will remove the scarlet letter from my chest
and take the hand of the little girl I used to be
and say I’m sorry to her
i’m sorry for cheating you out of the joy you have always deserved
and I will wait
for a man to come along
that can give me the truth
of how much he can really love me

written by Mayda de Valle

*there is a powerful video of her preforming this on Def Poetry Slam on YouTube