passive regret

a thought breeds inside me
like ivy
wrapping itself
coiling
around my spine
barricading my heart
so your small attempts to hurt
go almost unnoticed
it lets me live as you never would

and I
throw morals at you
fistfulls of frameworks
how you would exist
if you were a real boy
and they bounce off your plastic undetected

rules of benevolence
and respect
lost upon you
or simply lack a warm place
within your cold
you lie to me like breathing
and mar even easier
guiltless in your world
and smiling

you live your "life"
as you always wanted
sex and substances
lacking life
shrouded in a thick coat
of a perception you’ve created
as good, honest, reliable
rather than the true blue you underneath
painting me awful for keeping you
safe and afloat
how dare I
you live your "life"

sex and substances

and disregard
have you told them the smallest truth
why our nights were so cold
when I was so warm
or have you lied
to keep your ego from going limp
as well

simplicity is this
no longer can i be disregarded, lied to
no longer can i be painted in a pale shade of insanity
solely for the reason that the view of me
looks better on you
no longer will i listen to you
or accept false apologies
issue the bare minimum again
of thinly veiled platitudes
variations of the lie that you are capable of caring
that you want me in your life
prove it
respect me
treat me as such
for all that I am
all that I have ever meant to you
and all that you have become because of me
or live your life
without me in it.


© 2007 by Danielle Romanick


*comment section contains an afterthought*